Having children can sometimes drive a person crazy. You wake up at the crack of dawn, haul off to work, work, work some more, keep working, then come home and all you want to do is collapse into the couch and dream about the next vacation you have lined up. That is, until you are unwittingly attacked by a 30-lb teeth-baring tattered-hair gremlin-er-child that is apparently your offspring.
Or maybe you planned on this delightful explosive nuclear ball of energy coming into your life. Either way, maybe after they walk away dejected and slightly heartbroken because the person they love most in the world is too exhausted to play a round of "bad guy attacking me until the stuffed animal chips his tooth," you feel a twinge of guilt. Or sadness. Or both. And you wonder, "What the heck? How can this go any differently?"
Without divulging years of indefatigable knowledge I have acquired on parenting from reading books, listening to talk shows, and chipping my teeth, I present to you 5 ways for busy and exhausted parents to connect with their children in meaningful, convenient, and genuine ways:
1. Go Geocaching
A friend introduced me to this hobby several years ago when he had one of the first GPS devices on the market. Nowadays, with the advent of smart phones, virtually anyone can download a geocaching app and begin following the map in their area to find hidden boxes, containers, etc. that contain a register of people just like you who have found the same one previously. It's recommended you bring a small trinket to exchange for one that is already in the box. This is the most fun I've had with my kid in a long time, and you can find them virtually everywhere. If I need to give mom a break, or I need to run some errands, I ask the kiddo if she wants to go geocaching. Her response is either indecipherable screams of delight, or a look that says, "Is this a trick question, or... " We go get a prescription, or go shopping for food, or whatever, then I bring up my app, and blam. Geocache, half a mile away. We do our errands, the drive, park, I hand her the phone, and she leads the way following the map for some awesome secret treasure.
2. Cooking
This is a lost art. Not everyone can make good food. But everyone can try! I mean, you gotta eat anyway right? It doesn't have to be the Iron Chef, or Chéz Le French restaurant. You can do this with ramen, mac-n-cheez, or even making yourself a quesadilla (pronounced "dih-luh"). But let them lead the way, help them do it (safely), and don't get upset when they spill or dump in too much of whatever into the bowl/counter/sink. We learn by making mistakes. And don't pretend like the kitchen wasn't trashed already. Besides, then you can make a clean-up game after (which may or may not take hold, but is at least worth a shot!).
3. Exercise
We've all heard of this mysterious word, and yet somehow so few of us can find the time to discover its meaning. Ditch the gym and play a quick game of tag or hide-and-go-seek. The positions you may find yourself in are akin to yoga, and will burn at least 7000 calories (or that's what it feels like after 5 minutes). Or, actually do yoga. Seriously. And let them make up the moves if they want. We have a rope hanging from our ceiling with knots that our daughter rarely ever lets go of upon arriving at home. It is an epicenter for exercise and games we've invented. You don't need an iPod strapped to your arm, or sexy pants to show everyone you're working out. Just run around with your kids and you'll see what I mean. 10 minutes can mean the world to them.
4. Garden/Yarden
This is more of a weekend one, caters to older kids (8+) and I may be accused of breaking the "busy" rule. But if you can take one weekend to develop one part of your yard into a garden (garden+yard=yarden! Get it? Right guys? Right? Guys?), your main task is done. Then, take one day a week to spend 30 minutes planting, preparing, harvesting, weeding, and doing other gardeny things with your kids (for ideas on how/what to do search "permaculture," "lasagna gardening," "food not lawns," and, you guessed it "yarden"). You might not always get to do it together, but you will have a shared common interest with which to connect about later. And you get tomatoes. Then see step 2.
5. Schedule it in!
Maybe you're not sure how to go about doing this. Maybe your life is so scattered you feel overwhelmed all the time. Maybe the big report for Jim is due on Monday. I don't need to stress the importance of taking 10 minutes out of your oh-so-busy-adult-life day to spend with your very own doting flesh and blood. You already know that. But maybe you don't know about Google calendar? Or Microsoft Outlook? Or one of those binders they sell at the checkout counter that clearly details ways to make your life smoother and easier? My point is, you schedule your workday, and you get work done. Schedule time with your kids, and you get connection! And treat it like it's a meeting. Turn your phone off. Don't begrudge interruptions (if someone needs to speak with you, whether it's family, friend, or business, let them know you're in the middle of something and will catch up at the next available moment). When your kids know they are the most important thing in your life, they will stop attacking you to let you know they are the most important thing in your life.
There, now that you've connected with your kids, you can sit down and visualize that vacation. However, you might want to get a mouth guard or two (those things don't really grow back, you know).
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